If they don’t like you, they won’t hire you: Perception is everything in your job search
For interview requests, click here
The people you meet—recruiters, hiring managers, even receptionists—shape your chances more than you realize.
That’s why how you’re perceived ultimately determines whether your efforts pay off, from networking to being hired.
This echoes the cautionary words of American rapper and actor Jaden Smith: “Be careful with how you make the world perceive you because they’ll perceive you like that for the rest of your life.”
Undeniably, image matters. Yet, many job seekers fail to manage their image and wonder why they’re stuck.
We interpret people by assigning meaning to what we see or hear—clothing, mannerisms, speech, and even how they organize their space. We do this constantly while communicating, which is why communication is messy.
 Learn the key perception mistakes job seekers make. |
| Recommended |
| Negotiating a new job offer? Make sure you’re not leaving money on the table
|
| Improve your personal curb appeal and jumpstart your career
|
| How to avoid being the competent jerk at work
|
To choose one person from a stack of applications, employers must make judgments based on what they observe—their perception of you. Philosopher Hannah Arendt noted that identity is formed through public actions; we become who we are based on how others see us. In short, people treat you as they see you.
Be mindful of the impression you make:
- Image is everything
- So is how you make someone feel
Since your image and the emotional impression you leave with interviewers significantly influence your job search success, it’s essential to understand what doesn’t reflect well on you—what turns employers off. Many job seekers either don’t realize what hurts their image or don’t care. Here are a few examples of what doesn’t reflect well.
Publicly criticizing employers
Employers routinely review candidates’ online activity. So it’s baffling how many job seekers vent publicly.
Do they think employers will read their rants and say, “He’s right! Let’s change everything we’ve been doing.” Criticizing the very people you want to hire you is like biting the hands you want to feed you.
It shows poor judgment, a lack of emotional control and short-sightedness.
Sloppy self-presentation
Apicius, a first-century Roman gourmet, said, “We eat with our eyes first.” The same applies to first impressions. People often assume that outward appearance reflects inner qualities. If there’s ever a time to look your best, it’s during a job search.
But presentation goes beyond appearance. Your resumé, LinkedIn profile and online activity all contribute to how you’re seen. Typos, vague language, poor grammar and inappropriate posts can quickly turn employers off.
Aggressive communication
Many confuse assertiveness with aggression. Assertiveness expresses needs and opinions respectfully. Aggression prioritizes your needs at the expense of others.
I see assertiveness as a dialogue. Aggression feels like a proclamation.
Aggressive communicators often criticize employers or act standoffish during interviews, treating interviewers like adversaries. In contrast, assertiveness means being clear about what you want while considering the employer’s needs.
The fastest way to move your job search forward is to show how you can solve a problem for the employer. Speak from a “What can I do for you?” mindset, not “What’s in it for me?”
Lack of manners and social skills
Even in a more casual world, manners and social skills still matter. Lacking them makes you less likeable. I’ve yet to meet a hiring manager who chooses someone they dislike.
Good manners foster trust and build relationships, which are vital to career success. Failing to read a room or ignoring social cues creates friction where rapport is needed.
How people receive your message, what they remember about you and how they feel afterward all matter.
Everyone eventually feels misinterpreted. When that happens, your best move is to reflect. If you feel unappreciated or misunderstood, look in the mirror before blaming the world.
You control your destiny by how you present and communicate—because nobody is owed acceptance.
The popular advice to “be yourself” assumes that “yourself” is someone people actually like. That’s a risky assumption. Since people judge you by your appearance, words and actions, managing perception is key to job search success.
Care as much, if not more, about how others perceive you than how you perceive yourself.
The phrase “perception is reality,” attributed to political strategist Lee Atwater, echoes throughout the hiring process. What employers see and hear about you is your responsibility.
Nick Kossovan, a well-seasoned veteran of the corporate landscape, offers advice on searching for a job.
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by our columnists and contributors are solely their own and do not necessarily reflect those of our publication.
Troy Media is dedicated to empowering Canadian community news outlets with independent, insightful analysis and commentary. Our mission is to support local media in fostering an informed and engaged public by delivering reliable content that strengthens community ties, enriches national conversations, and deepens Canadians’ understanding of one another.
