Practical steps to rescue a struggling relationship

Not every couple lives happily ever after – but you’re not doomed. Practical steps to rescue a struggling relationship

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Not all of us are living happily ever after.

Are you surprised?

I didn’t think so.

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, the opposite might also be true about too much time spent together in close quarters.

A former colleague once told me that calls for domestic disputes were on the rise. While that conversation happened at the height of the pandemic, the dynamic still applies today. Partners under the same roof, dealing with job stress, financial worries, or endless household demands, often find tension simmering below the surface.

Even with many workplaces reopened, remote work and ongoing economic uncertainty continue to create strain. And when you add children into the mix, all scrambling for attention, the situation can escalate. It’s loud, you’re tired, and everyone is struggling with their own fears about the future.

Without strong coping and communication skills, it’s no surprise that minor disagreements can boil over into bigger conflicts.

Of course, not everyone is struggling. For some, the increased time together has led to a deeper connection, greater love and mutual respect. They’re the lucky ones.

But is the quality of a relationship simply luck? Or is there a recipe you can follow to improve your odds?

It reminds me of when I first taught my children to cook. One of the most valuable lessons came from figuring out how to salvage a recipe that wasn’t going well. Sometimes all it takes is a dash of spice or an extra ingredient to turn things around.

The first step in saving a recipe is to consider what’s missing or what could be added to improve the flavour. With practice, you learn to recognize what adjustments are needed.

Now, let’s apply this to relationships.

Start by evaluating the current state of your relationship. Where would you place it on this scale?

• Toxic
• Struggling
• Mediocre
• Average
• Good
• Great
• Exceptional

An exceptional relationship offers a life of pure joy and success by every measure. It’s the ultimate reflection of a high-energy, purpose-driven partnership.

A great relationship means pursuing happiness together. It’s highly successful but still has room to grow—and growth inspires both partners.

An average relationship is one marked by satisfaction. Things are okay: you’re satisfied with your home, finances, careers and family life. But average is a dangerous place. Remember: average means you’re either the best of the worst or the worst of the best.

A struggling relationship is filled with ups and downs. There’s little happiness or satisfaction. You struggle for balance, financial security and direction. It’s a low-energy, pessimistic endurance test, and unless big changes are made, it can slide into toxic territory.

A toxic relationship, on the other hand, is full of venom and hostility. Dreams fade, nightmares take over, and daily life becomes a battlefield. For some, the only relief comes from strict boundaries or even legal protection.

For some people, it’s clear where they fall on this continuum. For others, it may take some reflection. Either way, acknowledging the state of your relationship is the first step toward improving the recipe.

If you want to avoid becoming another statistic, start with a simple assessment. Consider your daily interactions, your communication patterns, and what small changes could make a meaningful difference.

As Sam Keen wisely said in To Love and Be Loved, “We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”

If you want more from your partnership, the first step is simple: stop, think, and take action.

Faith Wood is a professional speaker, author, and certified professional behaviour analyst. Before her career in speaking and writing, she served in law enforcement, which gave her a unique perspective on human behaviour and motivations. Faith is also known for her work as a novelist, with a focus on thrillers and suspense. Her background in law enforcement and understanding of human behaviour often play a significant role in her writing.